The Dollar Tree, Lamentation and Pork Skins

Have you heard of the Dollar Tree?

It's a store where EVERYTHING inside is a dollar.

  That makes it a very useful place for people like me who happen to not have a very large amount of spending money. 

On a recent trip to this wondrous place I made two very important purchases. 

1)Pork Skins

and

2)Lamentation

Ok. so, why would pork skins be an important purchase?

     Porks skins are something I have wanted to try for about two years.  It has taken two years because I was very wary about buying them.  The most common argument against being “what if I don’t like the snacky foodstuffs contained in this bag? what if it tastes terrible?”

     The Truth, which I find not hard to admit whatsoever - is that I absolutely, unashamedly, through-and-through find pork skins to be disgusting.  That is one dollar I am never getting back.  

I regret nothing.  

  The other VIP I am talking about is a book.  It is by Ken Scholes.  The advance praise on the cover is from Orson Scott Card!  To those of you familiar with the iconic science fiction work Ender’s Game, that’s a pretty big deal.  

  So, I’m sifting through these books and none of them look particularly interesting for a light read.  There’s some political books, about a bajillion romance/detective books, a book on natural aphrodisiacs and a few “self-help” books.  

     When my friend who was just about through with being checked out pointed out Lamentation “This one looks a bit interesting” and walked out the door.  

This one looks a bit interesting, indeed

I pick up the book, complete my purchase and after consuming five-and-a-half pork skins, dumping the rest, making my way home and finding a nice soft spot to read, I’m hooked.  

One thing before I go- I have a habit of finding mistakes in published works.  Not out of spite, but because I like details.  

On page 71 of Lamentation Lady Jin Li Tam has “Piercing blue eyes”, but on page 121 her eyes are “blazing green”. 

-AG

The Fair Mk 2

Ok.

Remember the Gravitron?
Remember Lover Boy(now on known as Hyperspace)?

     Welp, he managed to get me onto the ride.  This may or may not have involved dragging me bodily through the gate(it did).  After half-frog-marching-half-carrying-me onto the ride, I actually enjoyed the ride.  It was after the ride that was a problem.

     You see, low blood pressure runs in my family*.  I happen to be affected by this.

     Riding the Gravitron made all of the blood(or at least more than the usual amount) rush to my head.  While the ride was going everything was SUPERB.  After it stopped, the world around me started losing color and I was having problems with that "standing up" thing you people tend to treat so casually.

Lying on my back for about a minute-and-a-half** cleared my head, though, so no real complaints.  I'd do it again, but only if I was absultely sure I was not dehydrated***, because I think I might have been teetering.  My tendancy to forget to be thirsty makes this even harder.  YAY!


     So, I avoided passing out, and got a kiss out of it, too.  For my bravery. Or something like that.

Love,
AG

*Despite sounding very much like a bad thing(which it can be), it has perks, like salt. SALT, SALT EVERYWHERE!

**don't take my word for it, I'm terrible with telling time.

***I'm also Chronically Dehydrated. I would prefer the term "hydrophobic", but that makes me sound like a lipid, which I am not.  I think.

Top O' the Mornin'

     Well, as the flag hanging out in front of the porch of The Homestead so boldly pronounces to the world, I am "LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE IRISH".  That's right, folks! AG, the crazed Italian chick posting all over the interwebs, is also Irish. 
     So, St. Patty's Day has always been a bit of a big deal 'round these parts.  You go to bed in Green Clothing the night before, unless you'd like to be awakened(quite rudely, shall I add) by a pinch.  Green through the day and Green when you go to bed that night.
     I went to bed with a green shirt on and some red sock-monkey(think Nick&Nora*) PJ's(the monkeys have green scarves).   I stumble out of my room and slump onto the couch next to Emboo.  I'm still not quite awake yet.  She leans over** and pinches me. 

No joke.

She pinched me.  

      This.

               Means.

                          WAR.

     I pinch back.
....and get a very startled look from her "oh-so-innocent" face.  Her head whips back to shoot a questioning look at Jax.  "She's wearing green, Emboo."
"No, she's not," comes the "victim"
"Yes, she is," I return, holding out my shirt for inspection.   It turns out that it actually is green.
     Nami was even wearing a kelly green bow and bright green socks.***

Ok, enough of this.
To Business.
To FOOD.
To this.

      It is Shepherd's Pie and it is delicious.  We substituted corn for the peas(they were gonna make me go out and buy peas.  In the rain.  Besides, I secretly wanted to use the corn in it.  I love corn. MWAHAHAHAHAAA.)
     The irony of the situation is, we had to eat this as a substitute to Corned Beef and Cabbage due to corned beef and cabbage being too expensive.  You may not know this, but Corned Beef and Cabbage started out as a luxury, but Irish consumption in the USA shot through the roof.  Because it was cheaper here.  Psha!
       Also, to breakfast!  Ammamay made bacon and eggs and hashed-brown potatoes with onions.  YUM~!
     After a long, lovely day, we watched THOR.  *ADJUSTS GLASSES* I'm more of a DC girl, myself, but I can honestly say that I liked it, Marvel and all.****
Happy St. Patty's day and may the Luck of the Irish be with you and yours.

*It has a jacket, which I had worn over my green shirt(although, it had green in it and wasn't exactly blocking my solid-green t-shirt)

**She's all decked out, man.  She's got a Green necklace(with shamrocks on it), an "Irish"(think "Leprechaun and Pot O' Gold") pony-tailor, an all-green shirt and Green-and-Black "Got Luck?" socks.

*** Thanks to Emboo.

****Spiderman, Iron Man and X-Men are my secret, secret exceptions for Marvel.  Ssshhhh!

Why T-Rex Is A Cannoli

#CLEARS THROAT#

This is the story of how T-Rex became a cannoli...


     Ammamay* made Latkes** for breakfast, which ended up causing mayhem amoung all of us young people.  T-rex is worried about trying some new food,  Jax took an extra, effectively stealing Emboo's allotment, which made her get in a frenzy, "MOOOOM, he stole my Latke!  Make him give it back!!!!"(Sheesh! "Now, Mummy, now!" Veruca? Is that really you?)  He ended up giving it back to her, wherein she, in turn, gave it to me. ("It's cold, you have it.  Also, it has sour cream.(she scrunches her face)")  
T-Rex's big, blue eyes grew huge.  "Can I have some, please?"

Hold up.

     ~"Please?"~

He said,  "please"  to me‽ This is serious.




 

      This kid is the pickiest of picky.  I mean plain-out choosey.  He has food he likes, and everything else.  A lot of everything else.  

     This is an Italian kid who won't touch Manicotti or Cannelloni.  He won't even eat Spaghetti if it has red sauce on it.




"Sure," I reply as I cut him a half.  
     "I can have half?"(I think I see tears in his eyes.)
     "Absolutely."

I give him the half with no bite in it, and I think he sort of creates a rift in time and space with his joy.
     "Thank you, AG!"
     And I get an actual, real-live hug from my nine-soon-to-be-ten-year-old brother, the Fourth Grader.  And girls have cooties.  I'm overjoyed(also, I have an entire Latke more then the rest of the sibs, so......      Nah, it's the hug.  Probably.)



     While my picky younger brother returns to his seat, Ammamay and I exchange a glance.  

     "Hey!  A food he actually likes!" from Jax.(snarky li'l Eighth Grader.)
We all laugh.  It's true, though.  It's hard to find a food he likes, much less a new one.***

      "He's a funny one," Ammamay puts in, "He won't try spaghetti and red sauce**!  I bet he'd have no problem if he'd just try it." This last part is said slightly more indignantly.  I mean, come on people, she makes the red stuff herself(with occasional help from Prego****).

      I join in, "He's an Italian who won't go near Ravioli**, Manicotti**, Cannelloni**."
      "And he won't touch anything with garlic!" she adds, "Are we sure he's Italian?"

     "I bet he wouldn't try a Cannoli**."


We pause for a beat.


      I crack a smile, "He is a Cannoli."
My comment puts Ammamay into another fit of laughter.

     "He is!" She says through her giggles.

     The blue-eyed T-Rex looks up at us from his plate.  His eyebrows are furrowed and he is very put-off.

     "Mamma, what's a Cannoli?"

     Nooooo!  I try to plead with my eyes, out loud-
     "Don't tell him!" I'm laughing.

     She doesn't heed me and instead concedes to the weaker party,
"It's an Italian dessert."

     "Oh," he says.  He was placated, but his arms remained crossed and his cheeks hadn't quite returned from red, mostly due to "Italian dessert" not being the answer he suspected.


In the end, a delicious breakfast and a funny story and a new name! Ta-da! 





*(my mother, this is how I refer to her, this side-note is for future reference)
**YUM~ 
***(I'm not giving him any credit here.  He's gotten much better.  Still, it usually feels like you have got to pry his jaws open to get him to try anything that he hasn't already tried.)
**** "Prego!" = "Thank you!" in Italian.


Yeah, I capitalize food.  It's respectful.